This ones not about me. Okay, okay, it sort of is.
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago...but not that long ago...a little girl with brown hair saw a little girl with blond hair and they fell into...an apartment lease together.
The real story is that I met my other better half a few years ago and it was jovial cynicism at first sight! Fast forward to about a while ago while we were still trying to get pregnant and scratching our heads or whatever we were doing. Mavis, said other better half, jokingly suggested that she carry a baby for us. She was only partially joking because she knew how devastated we were over this, and she had her own fair share of tears shed for us. Heartbreak doesn't just happen to one person when it happens. We didn't feel like this was the plan for us as you can probably tell. But that doesn't mean that Mavis stopped thinking about it. In fact, she thought A LOT about it. She decided that if she wasn't able to help us have a baby in this manner that she was going to help someone have a baby. So she signed up to be a surrogate! And now shes pregnant! With TWINS! And I KNEW IT! Hahahahaha!
Obviously a lot has been left out, some of the story is sad and some of the story is private, but overall I think it's a heartwarming, inspiring story, and I'm so happy to be part of it. I know she would love it if you followed along with her through her blog, so check it out. Define:Mavis
Does a little bit of you maybe think that God works in REALLY mysterious ways? Everyone is always trying to interpret what God meant when He said this, or what He wants us to do in regards to that. I don't have the answers to much really but when Ive been praying about something, and its been put heavy on my heart, and then I do it, and it feels like the best feeling EVER - that's how I know its Gods will. Some days I feel like the tornado is chasing me and I'm far from healed, but when I look back on some of the super dark days of the storm, I can't help but feel like God was using me to affect her, to heal someone else's suffering.
Showing posts with label Gods will. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gods will. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Individuality
We had our individual meetings with our social worker this week. I'd like to say that I breezed through it with a slam dunk at the end but that's more Nick's style than mine. We had been driving and flying all day and I had motion sickness from all of it. And I had lady issues. I felt like barf, like I was going to barf and probably smelled like recycled airplane barf air. Ew.
Nick went first and I tried my darndest to hear what was going on in there but no such luck. I flipped through the match book that I found in the waiting room. You see, we meet at a pregnancy crisis center. Sort of ironic (read:cruel) to make couples who haven't been able to conceive meet at a place where pregnancy is considered a crisis? I think yes.
Me next! Me next! The first few questions were about my family and how I grew up, so I knew the answers to those ones! There were a few questions about daycare, staying home from work, discipline, marriage, stress and anger, and managing that. She asked a question that I have personally reworked to be, "Why do you think Nick is so awesome?" to which I replied...with tears. Naturally. My verbal response was that he's a gentleman. The written word really does no justice to how great that word is to describe him. Perhaps that's why I felt tears were necessary? Anyhow, I see friends and I hear of other spouses or boyfriends and it makes me feel sad that some women are willing to short change themselves of a man they truly deserve. Don't get me wrong, we do combat occasionally and not just to keep up on our mad MCMAPin' skills.
Another question that got me going was when she asked how I was dealing with the infertility. I know that not conceiving after one year medically considers you infertile but I sort of think that's bullhonkey especially since nothing is medically stopping us from having a biological child. Our not getting pregnant is not about medicine or our personal biology. Its about God having a different plan for us. I explained through tears of joy that I was, of course, sad about the whole situation but that it was so great because we can honestly say that we've heard Gods will and we've followed through with what He's told us. She reassured me that I may never feel completely whole in regards to the issue of not experiencing a pregnancy and that, that was okay.
Directly after this question she hit me with, "How do you know right now is the right time for adoption?" I'm fairly certain tears were squirting OUT OF MY HEAD when I responded with a smile that "it just feels so good". Cuz y'all, it does. The world with all its ugliness can really get a person down, especially a person that's as sensitive as I am. But when I think about how incredible it is going to be when Nick and I bring our baby home...it makes me feel like, just for that second, there's no evil in the world.
After the individual meetings we all met together and discussed our next meeting and the match book. Man, I remember describing what the match book was...now we are actually talking about going into the match book! Our social worker described the "good" ones and the not so good ones. She gave us a little insight on what birth mothers are looking for. She told us to run a few drafts past our friends and ask them...if they'd give us their baby...no no no that's not what she said...if our letter looks like who we really are. Help us to just be ourselves and not some made up, keeping up with the Joneses, cookie cutters.
We have another meeting coming up which I'm told is the meeting that we will discuss all the wonderful things our references said about us! And by wonderful things I mean all the crap you guys talked about us! So go ahead and fess up now! Hah just kidding! I know everything said was out of love and honesty and you cannot fault that.
I wanted to include a little note on the financial situation. We have been so blessed. While we are still a ways away from having the full amount, we are inching excitedly in the right direction. There have been a few families that have stepped out in faith and have changed our lives not only in regards to the adoption. Every single dollar matters so please don't feel like your donation is too small or that it won't make a difference. You could be the dollar that brings a child into our lives. If you don't feel comfortable donating or just aren't able to make it happen please pray for us. Please be praying that our birth mother is out there right now taking care of herself. Please be praying that we would reach our financial goal. Please be praying that we would continue to be still and hear Gods will for us.
Nick went first and I tried my darndest to hear what was going on in there but no such luck. I flipped through the match book that I found in the waiting room. You see, we meet at a pregnancy crisis center. Sort of ironic (read:cruel) to make couples who haven't been able to conceive meet at a place where pregnancy is considered a crisis? I think yes.
Me next! Me next! The first few questions were about my family and how I grew up, so I knew the answers to those ones! There were a few questions about daycare, staying home from work, discipline, marriage, stress and anger, and managing that. She asked a question that I have personally reworked to be, "Why do you think Nick is so awesome?" to which I replied...with tears. Naturally. My verbal response was that he's a gentleman. The written word really does no justice to how great that word is to describe him. Perhaps that's why I felt tears were necessary? Anyhow, I see friends and I hear of other spouses or boyfriends and it makes me feel sad that some women are willing to short change themselves of a man they truly deserve. Don't get me wrong, we do combat occasionally and not just to keep up on our mad MCMAPin' skills.
Another question that got me going was when she asked how I was dealing with the infertility. I know that not conceiving after one year medically considers you infertile but I sort of think that's bullhonkey especially since nothing is medically stopping us from having a biological child. Our not getting pregnant is not about medicine or our personal biology. Its about God having a different plan for us. I explained through tears of joy that I was, of course, sad about the whole situation but that it was so great because we can honestly say that we've heard Gods will and we've followed through with what He's told us. She reassured me that I may never feel completely whole in regards to the issue of not experiencing a pregnancy and that, that was okay.
Directly after this question she hit me with, "How do you know right now is the right time for adoption?" I'm fairly certain tears were squirting OUT OF MY HEAD when I responded with a smile that "it just feels so good". Cuz y'all, it does. The world with all its ugliness can really get a person down, especially a person that's as sensitive as I am. But when I think about how incredible it is going to be when Nick and I bring our baby home...it makes me feel like, just for that second, there's no evil in the world.
After the individual meetings we all met together and discussed our next meeting and the match book. Man, I remember describing what the match book was...now we are actually talking about going into the match book! Our social worker described the "good" ones and the not so good ones. She gave us a little insight on what birth mothers are looking for. She told us to run a few drafts past our friends and ask them...if they'd give us their baby...no no no that's not what she said...if our letter looks like who we really are. Help us to just be ourselves and not some made up, keeping up with the Joneses, cookie cutters.
We have another meeting coming up which I'm told is the meeting that we will discuss all the wonderful things our references said about us! And by wonderful things I mean all the crap you guys talked about us! So go ahead and fess up now! Hah just kidding! I know everything said was out of love and honesty and you cannot fault that.
I wanted to include a little note on the financial situation. We have been so blessed. While we are still a ways away from having the full amount, we are inching excitedly in the right direction. There have been a few families that have stepped out in faith and have changed our lives not only in regards to the adoption. Every single dollar matters so please don't feel like your donation is too small or that it won't make a difference. You could be the dollar that brings a child into our lives. If you don't feel comfortable donating or just aren't able to make it happen please pray for us. Please be praying that our birth mother is out there right now taking care of herself. Please be praying that we would reach our financial goal. Please be praying that we would continue to be still and hear Gods will for us.
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