Class 5 (& a question for you, yes you)

Oh yeah! Nick and I actually enjoyed a class! Fifth times a charm I guess. This class was focused on the birthparent experience. Nick had been looking forward to this class since the beginning. The first part of the class consisted of the instructor NOT reading to us directly from our paperwork and more of her talking. Point for them! The last half of the class the agency brought in a couple that had adopted a baby and the birthmother (BM) that had chosen them as the parents. Really neat. True life experience rules in my world.

The BM spoke about how she came to be pregnant and what her situation was and the parents spoke about how they chose adoption and the journey they had been on. I will not divulge too many personal details because their story is not mine to tell, but I really hope that we have a BM like her. She was so happy and excited to give this couple a baby that they so desperately desired. She knew and accepted that she could not parent the way she wanted her child to be parented and taken care of. She was so confident. It was startling. I do not imagine that most BMs are like her. I imagine they are scared out of their minds. I imagine they feel judged and ostracized on all sorts of levels. Maybe she did feel a little bit of that, it didn't show though. I felt like she grasped how great the gift adoption is and how wonderful it was that God was outwardly and visibly using her in His plan. (I just answered my own question...wow light bulb....see below).

The parents talked about the hospital experience and spending time with the BM. The father spoke about how he didn't feel what he thought was instinct kick in until about a week after the baby arrived. I felt really connected to that statement because I too worry that I won't have that maternal instinct the second I hold the baby. It all seemed so normal, like they were extended family. I pray that this is our experience. We want a BM that is happy to be used by God and I pray that the BF feels the same and that he wants to be involved.

This class was really neat and I'm glad that we got to experience it. AND! We don't have class next week and after that we only have TWO MORE! So fantastical. OH YA! We are starting the home study! Our social worker called us and told us that we could officially move forward! So our first home study meeting with her is in a few weeks. Exciting stuff!

So here is my question for you all:
When I am sharing my values and moral standards with my child, how will I respond when he/she says, "But my BM was pregnant with me before she got married..."?
(Insert Jeopardy music here)
I could not come up with an answer. This question will happen. I want the best answer and I just don't know it. We need to be very clear but we also need to be very sensitive. So what do you think? We wont be using the words "mistake" and "accident" because they are inappropriate and also incorrect. God doesn't make mistakes and He doesn't have accidents. I realized above that God was using the BM in His plan but how do we make it clear that sex outside of marriage is not Gods desire for us but yes, babychild you did come from a sex outside of marriage situation. See, its a tough one. I can refute everything I've come up with. Feel free to leave your CLEAR and SENSITIVE suggestions in the comments or on my Facebook post.

Til next time friendies!