Class Two

This is a long post, get your coffee.
So we've been to two classes now and all they've really done is do a lot of reading to us. I have been reading to myself since, like, the tender age of 4 people. I spent a serious amount of time at the library when I was a child, I can work the Dewey Decimal System like you wouldn't even know. Reading to me does nothing for me, I understand better when I read to me. Especially under the circumstances.
Here are the major points that we've learned outside of being read at:
Flexibility - Get some. Find some. Grow some. Whatever. You will need it.
Control - You have none. Lose whatever you think you got.
Loss - You aren't the only ones in this situation dealing with loss.
All of these sort of intertwine. We need to be flexible for the BM. She is experiencing loss just the same as we are. She's placing a child for adoption. She could change her mind 100 times, this is a huge deal and we need to be flexible. After all, we aren't in control ;)
Another thing we talked about is adoption language. Like "gave her child up for adoption". I just used this and deleted it because I need to try to use better language. Similar to when you become a Christian and you start trying walking like Christ. You quit cussing, this is a work in progress for us. Another one is "real mom". As if anyone in this situation is imaginary. I have used this before as well. Oops. Someone has a lot of growing to do...
For fun in the last class we took the Briggs Myers whatever whatever test. Nick and I both scored in the ISFJ section. Here is what the ISFJ profile looks like if you care to take a gander - ISFJ . Some parts are spot on for Nick and way off for me and vice versa. If you know us well, you can probably figure them out. I was also pretty close to ISTJ, which is almost exactly the same as ISFJ. Here's a few traits that I identified with, good and bad.
...they place great importance on honesty and integrity (this is incredibly important to me)
...insist on doing everything "by the book"(probably why this whole accounting thing works for me)
...they have a tendency to take other people's efforts for granted (I can be selfish, I can admit that)
...likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others (anyone? anyone? maybe not affection but definitely emotion)
...they do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations (I will not ask for a raise, its my job, I just do it)
...extremely faithful and loyal (stayed at a job that made me miserable because I felt such loyalty to the founder)
...are responsible parents, taking their parenting roles seriously (HEY NOW! Here's something to get excited about!)
...Under stress may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong...(who's blushing? Me.)
So there's a few interesting things about me. Probably obvious, but its fun to read.

Let me be a little more personal now. And probably a little direct and brash. I have been inundated with people complaining about their kids and lives after kids. Please stop telling me things such as "life as you know it will be over" or "say goodbye to sleeping and having a clean house and hello to being broke". Its probably the "having a clean house" statement that really set me over the edge but you people are REALLY bringing me down. Which in turns brings Nick down. And no one wants to see the eternal optimist down. Trust me. Try to remember that this whole adoption thing is nothing like what you've experienced. It is difficult in its own right. Your icky attitude sorta magnifies that. We want to be excited and happy regardless of how difficult the process is and how difficult you make life out to be after the process is over. Lets agree to something here: you will stop complaining about your terrible children and threatening to just take my mountain bike away now and I will stop almost feeling sorry for you. Your life is not over. Here are some examples of things you could say "I've seen you with our baby, you are going to be a great mom" <yes it did make me tear up. Or "When you guys talk to Ali and play with King, I just know you'll be great parents". Kids mentioned are real children and we love them so its easy for us. Which makes me think it will be 10x more easy to deal with aforementioned nonsense<3
PS - I am good at cleaning and throwing stuff away so ask me over.