In the beginning

There were two, Nick and I. It seems like moments after we were married we started trying. And trying. And nothing. We saw doctors and did the testing and some treatments and...nothing. Nothing worked and nothing was wrong with either of us.

God worked on us through all of this. He knew that I needed to know that it wasn't me or Nick, it was Him. (ya know, God gave me the ol, "its not you, its Me" line) My plan was obviously to get pregnant and be beautiful and barefoot (somewhere in there we would win the lotto) and all would be well and fine in the world. Instead, God told us, there's nothing wrong with you, this just isn't the way I have planned for you. Focus on me and I will show you. So we did. Eventually. But first we did a lot of crying and fighting. I felt like, I hear what You're sayin' Man, but I just can't believe it. I began to pray for acceptance, peace in my heart and for God to enlighten me to His Plan. Show it to me whatever way You know I'll listen!
We had vaguely discussed adoption/fostering but more and more it became clear that adoption was in The Plan He was trying to show us. At church one day they made an announcement that a Christian adoption agency was coming to the church. I felt like that was Gods big neon sign, Look Here! Its The Plan! ...we meet with our social worker in two Mondays!