I follow a few adoption blogs and I'm always super excited when there is an update and then I'm all let down when there isn't. Is that how you guys feel about this blog?! Hehe.
Stella is amazing.
She loves anything that is not a baby toy like water bottles, boxes, dog bowls.
She is inquisitive. I love watching her furrow her perfect little eyebrows when she finds something new to investigate.
She fake cries. It's kind of funny. Kind of.
She went in the pool for the first time and loves it! It was so cute watching her in the pool floaty.
She took her very first step yesterday. She should be running in no time. Good thing we've been doing cardio. Every milestone is so exciting.
She mimics us which is really neat. We will hum or make mouth noises and she does it back and thinks its hilarious.
One of the things that is so dear to me is when I go to her in the morning. She's usually standing at the edge of her crib with her pacifier, peeking out, waiting with her sleep-puffy face. When I come in she looks at me and smiles and my heart just melts. I want to squeeze her. And then I do. And its awesome.
We do have an adoption specific update...we're finalizing June 20!! Our social worker came by last week to write her final report. In this report we are asked if we want anything specific written about Stella or our new lives for the file where it is recorded and saved forever. I wanted to really throw myself into something spectacular but Nick wanted to freestyle something. So I didn't plan anything. Which makes what we said all the more genuine and beautiful.
Stella is more blessing than we ever could have even imagined praying for. She is living, breathing, touchable, real proof that God's plan is so, so, so much better than ours could ever be.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
April. Six Months.
There's a baby in my bed and she's 6 months old. Can you even believe how good God is?!
I remember a particularly difficult growth opportunity before Stella came home. I don't remember if I described it here but for some reason it is on my heart right now.
I was informed one day by our social worker that before we could proceed and get into the match book I would need to attend therapy for reasons outside my control. I was unhappy. I was bitter. I was struggling. For some reason I was mad at the messenger. Our social worker was just relaying requirements to us. I put off even finding someone to see. I held on to it for what felt like a long time. Until one day I was driving home from work and God decided - that's enough kiddo. I had on Audrey Assad's song "Sparrow" and I was belting it out when something started happening. I could feel the Holy Spirit stirring inside me, my heart was beating wildly, I was getting choked up and then these verses trickled out of my car:
Why should I be troubled
When His tender word I hear
No, I'll rest on His goodness
In my doubt and in my fear
I. Lost. It. I lost it so much that I had to pull over and sob hysterically until I could compose myself enough to drive the rest of the way home *just* crying, into the driveway and into the house where I confessed to Nick all of the horrible feelings I had been having. I was weightless afterwards. I got on God's plan again and found a great therapist. I saw her alone and with Nick and I started to look forward to seeing her. I even started to feel comfortable in my baby-less-ness. I was able to accept that I didn't have a baby right when I wanted one and enjoy being a family of two. You know that saying Let Go and Let God...I felt so free.
I feel like God needs you to suffer through some really tough things in order for you to be able to truly appreciate and recognize the blessings He is going to pour into your life. God is constantly working on me. Whether I am discovering things the very hard way or I am seeing God's lessons play out right in front of me.
Last night I was rocking this little angel. She was long passed out but I kept on and I started to pray. I found myself thanking God for the struggles He pushed me through and for not giving up on a broken little kid who needs and loves Him.
I remember a particularly difficult growth opportunity before Stella came home. I don't remember if I described it here but for some reason it is on my heart right now.
I was informed one day by our social worker that before we could proceed and get into the match book I would need to attend therapy for reasons outside my control. I was unhappy. I was bitter. I was struggling. For some reason I was mad at the messenger. Our social worker was just relaying requirements to us. I put off even finding someone to see. I held on to it for what felt like a long time. Until one day I was driving home from work and God decided - that's enough kiddo. I had on Audrey Assad's song "Sparrow" and I was belting it out when something started happening. I could feel the Holy Spirit stirring inside me, my heart was beating wildly, I was getting choked up and then these verses trickled out of my car:
Why should I be troubled
When His tender word I hear
No, I'll rest on His goodness
In my doubt and in my fear
I. Lost. It. I lost it so much that I had to pull over and sob hysterically until I could compose myself enough to drive the rest of the way home *just* crying, into the driveway and into the house where I confessed to Nick all of the horrible feelings I had been having. I was weightless afterwards. I got on God's plan again and found a great therapist. I saw her alone and with Nick and I started to look forward to seeing her. I even started to feel comfortable in my baby-less-ness. I was able to accept that I didn't have a baby right when I wanted one and enjoy being a family of two. You know that saying Let Go and Let God...I felt so free.
I feel like God needs you to suffer through some really tough things in order for you to be able to truly appreciate and recognize the blessings He is going to pour into your life. God is constantly working on me. Whether I am discovering things the very hard way or I am seeing God's lessons play out right in front of me.
Last night I was rocking this little angel. She was long passed out but I kept on and I started to pray. I found myself thanking God for the struggles He pushed me through and for not giving up on a broken little kid who needs and loves Him.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Update
The last time I posted was in the same month that Stella was born! So I'm a bad blogger now. I'm okay with that.
We had Thanksgiving where Stella poopied on Great Gramma's couch. Oops.
We had Christmas where Stella was spoiled rotten and caught her first cold.
We had Stella's Great Meme and Great Auntie come all the way from Oklahoma just to see her. Okay, they kind of wanted to see us too...I'm sure...
We had New Years Eve where Stella was the belle of the ball with her, "this is my little black dress" onesie, black glitter pants, and sparkle glitter shoes.
We had Mama going back to work. I cried for a few days prior to leaving her and on the day of I felt really peaceful which is what I had been praying about.
Stella is growing so quickly and hitting all her milestones and much more. She started rolling over officially a couple of weeks ago. Last Wednesday we saw her "scoot" on her belly. She wanted a toy that was a little too far away and she heaved herself towards it and got it! She does that consistently now and it is SO cool to see! Who knew that I would be so thrilled by a scoot! Full on crawling is not too far away, I just know it! We have been tickling Stella and getting some response for a while now but last night I tickled her and she full on giggled! Like the giggles you see of babies on YouTube. Big stimulus, big response. It was spectacular! HAHA, you would have thought she shot a bow and arrow. Nicholas slightly burned the steaks because we were so fascinated!
We met with Stella's birthmother. We are both SO glad that we have a relationship with her. It is so important to have that connection to where Stella came from.
We also had our child dedication class and our date for having Stella dedicated is MOTHERS DAY! I was already prepared for being an emotional mess that day but THIS IS NEXT LEVEL. Ah, waiting for almost four years to become a mother and my very first Mother's Day I'm going to have my very own baby dedicated?! I'm sure to be a blubbering disaster.
We met with our social worker today and she had nothing but awesome things to say. There is a little "test" that she did where she held Stella while Nicholas and I were in the room. If Stella is properly bonding and attaching to us she will look at the social worker, break eye contact, and then search for us. She is looking for us to see if this person is okay. She trusts us and wants to see how we are reacting to the situation. She would look at our social worker, giggle and be adorable, and then immediately break contact and look for me or Nicholas. She also did it while she was in her exersaucer. It was so heartwarming to know that we're all just attaching and bonding and bonding and attaching!
As far as the adoption process goes we are just waiting for Pinal County to send our fingerprints to Maricopa County. After that happens our date for finalization will be set. I hardly ever think about it. We don't need the courts to tell us she's ours!
We had Thanksgiving where Stella poopied on Great Gramma's couch. Oops.
We had Christmas where Stella was spoiled rotten and caught her first cold.
We had Stella's Great Meme and Great Auntie come all the way from Oklahoma just to see her. Okay, they kind of wanted to see us too...I'm sure...
We had New Years Eve where Stella was the belle of the ball with her, "this is my little black dress" onesie, black glitter pants, and sparkle glitter shoes.
We had Mama going back to work. I cried for a few days prior to leaving her and on the day of I felt really peaceful which is what I had been praying about.
Stella is growing so quickly and hitting all her milestones and much more. She started rolling over officially a couple of weeks ago. Last Wednesday we saw her "scoot" on her belly. She wanted a toy that was a little too far away and she heaved herself towards it and got it! She does that consistently now and it is SO cool to see! Who knew that I would be so thrilled by a scoot! Full on crawling is not too far away, I just know it! We have been tickling Stella and getting some response for a while now but last night I tickled her and she full on giggled! Like the giggles you see of babies on YouTube. Big stimulus, big response. It was spectacular! HAHA, you would have thought she shot a bow and arrow. Nicholas slightly burned the steaks because we were so fascinated!
We met with Stella's birthmother. We are both SO glad that we have a relationship with her. It is so important to have that connection to where Stella came from.
We also had our child dedication class and our date for having Stella dedicated is MOTHERS DAY! I was already prepared for being an emotional mess that day but THIS IS NEXT LEVEL. Ah, waiting for almost four years to become a mother and my very first Mother's Day I'm going to have my very own baby dedicated?! I'm sure to be a blubbering disaster.
We met with our social worker today and she had nothing but awesome things to say. There is a little "test" that she did where she held Stella while Nicholas and I were in the room. If Stella is properly bonding and attaching to us she will look at the social worker, break eye contact, and then search for us. She is looking for us to see if this person is okay. She trusts us and wants to see how we are reacting to the situation. She would look at our social worker, giggle and be adorable, and then immediately break contact and look for me or Nicholas. She also did it while she was in her exersaucer. It was so heartwarming to know that we're all just attaching and bonding and bonding and attaching!
As far as the adoption process goes we are just waiting for Pinal County to send our fingerprints to Maricopa County. After that happens our date for finalization will be set. I hardly ever think about it. We don't need the courts to tell us she's ours!
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